


Surprise

by Greenschist



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-13
Updated: 2010-03-13
Packaged: 2017-10-07 22:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/70081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenschist/pseuds/Greenschist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Welcome to the family, Fred.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the fwhg_ldws comm for the prompt "pepper spray."

Richard Granger took the turn at such a rate of speed, the car tipped slightly on two wheels. Unbuckled in the backseat, Hermione and Fred slid to one side.

"Are you absolutely certain I can't drive you to the emergency room?" Richard asked, watching them in the rearview mirror while zooming toward a merge. "I can be there in five minutes."

"Richard!" Jean Granger squealed, bracing her hands against the dashboard.

He pulled his attention away from the backseat in time to see the long line of idling cars in front of them. Swearing, he stomped on the brake with enough force to send Fred and Hermione crashing against the front seats. "Sorry, sorry!" he called back. "Make that twenty minutes, thanks to all this blasted traffic."

Hermione tipped Fred's head up and dabbed gently at his raw, streaming eyes with a handkerchief. "I don't think so, Dad. Just get us back to the house as quickly as you can. I should be able to heal him there."

Twisted around in her seat, Jean grimaced her daughter's friend's blistered face. "I just can't apologize enough, Mr. Weasley."

Fred searched for her blearily through the swelling. "Call me Fred, ma'am, and apology accepted."

Hermione was not so forgiving.

"Mum, what happened? You attacked Fred before he even had a chance to say hello!" Keeping her wand low enough to escape notice from the other drivers, Hermione cast a slow-acting charm on the windows; over the next three minutes, they would gradually darken until any magic she performed would be safely hidden from the Muggles around them.

"You just surprised me, dear. I suppose I'm a little on edge. Our hygienist was mugged on her way out to her car last week." Jean ran her fingers through her curly brown hair and shrugged. "When I heard those popping sounds, I assumed they were gunshots and went on the offensive."

Hermione rolled her eyes and blotted more of Fred's tears. "Gunshots? Why on earth would you think that?"

"Your mother's been watching her _Dirty Harry_ movies on DVD again," Richard muttered, inching the car forward.

"Mum, you've heard me Apparate in dozens of times…and you were _expecting_ us."

"I was expecting you _at home_ for dinner tonight, not behind me in the car park."

Hermione sighed. "We thought we would surprise you with dinner reservations. I guess that's out the window now."

"We can still go. Really, I swear I'm fine." Fred's voice was cheery, but his face looked disturbingly like ground beef and his eyes were squinted almost shut.

"Oh, Fred." Deciding the windows were dark enough, Hermione took his face in her hands and cast a soothing charm on his skin. He sagged in relief, opening his eyes a little more, and Jean watched her daughter whisper in his ear before kissing him softly.

"Did you know I dated Daddy's cousin Sebastian for a year before I started dating Daddy?" Jean asked, a knowing smile on her face. "It made things awkward at family gatherings for a while, and, of course, your Great-Aunt Araminta never forgave me, but it was well worth it."

"I should say so," Richard snorted. "Seb's an arse."

Jean ignored him. "How long have you two been dating? It can't have been very long; we just saw Ron over New Year's, but even then I knew something wasn't right. Remember, Richard? Remember how I said, 'Hermione isn't happy'?" Not giving him a chance to answer, she steamrolled on. "Well, go on! How did you get together? Is Ron terribly upset? Is this relationship serious?"

Fred and Hermione exchanged glances.

"Um…it's a long story, no, and yes, we're very serious. In fact," Hermione kissed Fred's cheek before addressing her mother again, "we eloped."

Silence reigned for a moment before Jean shouted, _"Hermione Jean Granger!_ What do you mean you've eloped?"

"Oh, boy." Fred slouched in his seat and quickly cast two Bubble-Head Charms, but Hermione waved hers away with flick of her wand.

"It's Hermione Jean Granger-Weasley, thank you, and you know perfectly well what eloped means."

"Do you think this is how I imagined my only child's wedding?"

"Well, do you think I ever imagined you assaulting my husband with pepper spray?"

"I should spray you both again for this!" Jean was pink with rage. "How could you, Hermione?"

As mother and daughter continued to bicker in the slow moving traffic, Richard caught Fred's eye in the rearview mirror. "Welcome to the family, son."


End file.
